Ask Ino
by Yorick-chan
Summary: Discontinued.
1. First Edition

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, or any of its characters!  
**  
Ask Ino  
First Edition**_

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_

**Ino:** Welcome to Ask Ino! Ino Yamanaka here to help you with all your match making needs!

**Shikamaru:** -mumbles- Like you've ever had a date before...

**Ino:** -smacks- Who asked you?!

**Chouji:** You're both loud. -munches-

**Ino:** Why are you guys here...oh, nevermind. It's time for me to open my first letter!

Dear Ino,  
How are you _so_ beautiful AND popular??  
Love always, anonymous.

**Shikamaru:** ...you've got to be kidding me...

**Ino:** -giggles- It's simple, dear anonymous person! I'm INO!! -laughs maniacally-

**Shikamaru:** Great, now you've got her going...how bothersome...I'm leaving.

**Chouji:** -munch- Me too.

**Ino:** Ahahah...aha...hey...where'd everybody go!?

* * *

_Yorick:_ Send your hardest life questions to Ino Yamanaka, and you're guaranteed an honest answer...unfortunately. 


	2. Second Edition

**Ask Ino  
Second Edition**

**Have questions? don't waste money on a psychic hotline! ask Ino!

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**

Ino: This'll teach you to run off...wait... we're back? -hides tape- Hi, and welcome back to Ask Ino! I just know you couldn't wait to read my column, yet again!

Shikamaru: Don't be so sure of it.

Ino: Once again **who asked you?**

Shikamaru: What do you expect? You tied us up...what a drag.

Chouji: Yeah! I can't even reach my barbecue pork chips now!!

Ino: -ignores- What's this, a letter for **me**?

_Dear Ino,  
Will Sasuke ever go out with me?  
If he won't, then will Neji ever go out with me?  
And if he won't...will Shikamaru go out wiht me? You can ask him he's like...right there...HI SHIKA-KUN!  
-Sasukes-girl08_

Shikamaru: Hey...

Chouji: -holds up "save us" sign-

Ino: Sorry Sasukes-Girl...if that is your real name...-huggles Sasuke plushie- but Sasuke-kun belongs to me! -slams door on angry Sakura-

Shikamaru: -grumbles- Then why isn't he the one tied up...

Ino: -tapes Shika's mouth shut-...better try your hand at Neji, but good luck, he's not much of a conversationalist if you catch my drift...and as for Shikamaru...why's he on your list again?

Shikamaru: -spits tape off- Girls are so troublesome...

Ino: -sighs- See what I mean? so what's your answer, anyways? -grins- Wanna go out with an obsessive fangirl?

Shikamaru: Che...-hides blush- What a bother.

Chouji: -strains for chip bag- I'M GOING CRAZY HEEERE!!!

Ino: -ignores- Now, on to the next question...

_My mom said that I had a good voice and asked if I wanted to take singing lessons. Should I?  
-Pupluvgurl_

Ino: Well, Pupluvgurl, it is often a rare gift to have such a heavenly voice as I...

Shikamaru: Oh, brother...

Ino: -glares- ...anyways, my mother gave me singing lessons...and look at me now! I'm the best Kunoichi of my generation!

Shikamaru: What does that have to do-

Ino: -flashes duct tape- As I was saying...if you got it, flaunt it! Who knows? you might end up winning the award I never could...oh how sad that day was... -in own little world-

Shikamaru: We've lost her.

Chouji: -stomache growls-

Shikamaru: ...that's not good.

Ino: -clears voice-

_Dear Ino,  
If I offered a million dollars to you to kill Shikamaru would you do it?  
From, Alya _

P.S I don't hate Shika I'm just asking

Shikamaru: This is not a good day...

Ino: Alya, I think the real question is...cash or credit? -flashes kunai-

Shikamaru: -gulp-

_If you had to go out with either Shikamaru or Chou-_

Ino: Okay, that's all the time we have for today!

Yorick: -.-' Read the rest.

Ino: Grr...

_If you had to go out with either Shikamaru or Chou-ji (you HAVE to choose) then who would it be and why? Oh, and tell Shikamaru I said "Hi."  
-Unlucky-Amulet_

Shikamaru: Eeehhh...hey?

Ino: Whyyy...? -looks to the sky dramatically- WHY?!

Yorick: You knew it'd come some time!

Ino: -looks from Chouji to Shika-

Chouji: GIVE ME MY DAMN CHIPS!!!!!!

Shikamaru: -yawn- What a drag...

Ino: Erm...uh... -mumbles- Shika...maru.

Shikamaru: Wha?

Ino: Why? Well, he actually thinks with his head...not his stomache.

Chouji: -finally breaks free- FOOD!

Shikamaru: I'm touched. Honestly. -unenthusiastic-

Ino: -hits-

Shikamaru: What'd I do?

Ino: -sighs- I'll take one more...then _I'm _leaving.

_Dear Ino, _

if you had to choose from any of the male characters that aren't chouji, shikamaru, or sasuke to spend the rest of your life with WHO WOULD IT BE?  
-Gaaraswifey

Ino: See, everyone's interested in my love life!

Shikamaru: Right...

Ino: You're just jealous. Anyways, Gaaraswifey, I've somewhat thought of that myself...at least in terms of my life without the possibility of ending up with Sasuke-kun...(if that's possible)...and I've settled on the unexpected option: Kiba Inuzuka.

Chouji: -chokes on a chip-

Shikamaru: Kiba...not that it matters...

Chouji: Why?

Ino: It's explanatory in itself, isn't it? as said in article 5 of page 32...-flips out magazine-

Shikamaru: Great.

Ino: -shiny eyes- Kiba holds every aspect a woman is after (this season)!an over-protective rugged man with a dangerous side, who has an unrivaled love for animals, and no manners whatsoever!

Chouji: I think it's only dogs.

Ino: Either way...he's perfect if all else fails with Sasuke-kun...

Shikamaru: Losing your confidence?

Ino: Of course not! but every kunoichi needs a plan B if something goes wrong. Take a note on that, readers; always have something up your sleeve.

Chouji: -munch- The door's locked.

Ino: -evil grin- I know.


	3. Third Edition

Ask Ino  
Third Edition_

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_

Shikamaru: -snoring-

Chouji: Come on! open the door already! I'm out of snacks!!

Ino: This door will NEVER be opened until the readers are SATISFIED.

Shikamaru: -yawns- So in other words; never.

Chouji: But we'll starve! I'll starve! -faints-

Naruto: -opens door- Wow, what's in here?

Chouji: Don't let the door...-slam-...close...

Naruto: -jiggles handle- Aaah! it won't open!

Shikamaru: Go figure. How troublesome...

Chouji and Naruto :-Arguing over Naruto's ramen-

Ino: Let's start the questions again!

_Dear Ino;  
If you find out that Sasuke turned gay, who would you turn to?? Sakura or Shikamaru??_  
_-Zoey21_

Ino: Nevermind. Let's not.

Naruto: Sasuke's GAY!?

Ino: -shoves a cork into his mouth- OF COURSE NOT! and to answer the question quickly: never would I go so low as to ask my sworn rival for help! Shikamaru again.

Shikamaru: And once again; I'm honored. -unenthusiastic-

Ino: Though he wouldn't be so comforting. -crosses her arms- Now, what's next?

Chouji: -munch-

Naruto: MY RAMEN!

_If you had to make out with either Chouji, Shikamaru, or Gaara, seven minutes every day who would you pick?  
__-Kirri Kitty_

Shikamaru: -eyes snap open-

Ino: W-whaatt?! -eye twitches-

Naruto: Hehheh, this is kinda fun! you answer questions and stuff?

Chouji: What's with these questions, anyways? -crunch- and why am I in them?

Ino: -turns five shades of red-

Shikamaru: -sarcastic- I thought you liked the attention.

Ino: Gaara. He may be evil, but at least he's not a jerk.

Shikamaru: Ouch.

Ino: Herumph...

_Would you say yes if Shikamaru asked you out? Why?  
-VOO DOO GURL_

Shikamaru: -mumbles- Troublesome...

Ino: No.

Naruto: Why not? you're always together and stuff.

Ino: -eyes turn black- What are you implying?!

Naruto: -laughs nervously- Eeerm...nothing.

Ino: My heart belongs to Sasuke-kun. End of story. Next question!

_Dear Ino,  
School play auditions are coming up soon. I've had lots of acting experience but this would be my first High School play, so naturally I'm nervous. The play is Beauty and the Beast. Do you think I should try out?  
-Sasukes-girl08_

Shikamaru: Finally, a normal question.

Ino: Now, not to brag or anything...

Shikamaru: If that's possible.

Ino:...but I'm a natural born actor! you have to be when infiltrating enemy ground.

Naruto: Oh, oh, let me answer this one! I'm a reeally good actor!

Ino: -sighs- What would you know about being nervous around a crowd, Naruto?

Naruto: Hey, just watch! I'll give the best advice ever!

Ino: Then do it, already!

Naruto: You should...! umm...-shifts uncomfortably-...what was the question again?

Ino: Ugh. Since we're running out of time-

Shikamaru: And oxygen...

Ino:-To put it simply; If you don't try out, you'll end up watching it, and when it turns out to be a big hit you'll realize you didn't even try and it could have been YOU up there getting all that attention!

Shikamaru: Wow. Actual advice.

Ino: I'll take that as a compliment.

_Dear Ino:  
Putting aside the fact that they are S-ranked criminals, if you had to go out with any member from Akatsuki, who would it be and why?  
-Headless Duck _

P.S. Please tell Shika I luv him:D

Shikamaru: -slightly blushes, mumbling something inaudiable-

Ino: That's an easy one! Itachi, of course. He's just like an older, darker Sasuke!

Naruto: Itachi? you mean that creepy guy that tried kidnapping me? Sasuke hates him.

Ino: Oh. I forgot about that...well an enemy of his is an enemy of mine...hmm...then I'd have to choose Deidara+! he has an excellent sense of fashion.

Naruto: Deidara's a guy?!

Ino: Will you pay attention for once?

* * *

+Deidara IS a guy...if it isn't clear to you, the reason she chose him for his fashion is because he looks similar to herself. 

Remember to send your toughest questions to Ask Ino!


	4. Fourth Edition

Ask Ino  
Fourth Edition 

Where the motto is:  
_Who asked you?_

* * *

Ino: Welcome back! nothing much changed...except Chouji found the secret rations under the floor.

Chouji: -crunch-

Naruto: -snoring loudly-

Ino: Where'd that cork go...

_1. Who do you want to match make out of Rookie 9 (and Gai's team)?  
-Inu Anime Girl_

Ino: Naruto and Hinata! Seriously, that girl has to give him some signs or that thick headed idiot will never figure it out!

Naruto: -wakes up- Huh? who said my name?

Ino: Oops. -laughs- From Gai's team...it would be Ten-Ten and Lee...but I still don't understand her crush on him...

Naruto: Ten-Ten likes Fuzzybrows??

Ino:Where have you been?

_2. Why do you always chase after Sasuke when it's obvious that it will never happen and you like Shikamaru?  
-Inu Anime Girl_

Shikamaru: -falls out of chair-

Ino: W-who said that?! what are you talking about! you're crazy; next question!

_1. Why do you wear really slutty clothing?  
-LaurenOfTheLake_

Shikamaru: -chuckles- They get right to the point.

Ino: -growls- It's not slutty! it's form-fitting! besides, baggy clothing just gets in the way of a kunoichi!

Naruto: Sakura wears 'form-fitting' clothes, too. -drools-

_2. What will you do when Sakura starts going out with Sasuke (FATE)?  
-LaurenOfTheLake_

Ino: Yeah, right! like I'll lose to that big-headed Haruno! besides, if you've already read my other editions, you'd know I have a Plan B should that cruel day ever possibly come!

Shikamaru: Which will.

Ino: XP

Shikamaru: Troublesome...

_3. Why DO you like Sasuke?  
-LaurenOfTheLake_

Naruto: Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! why is it always about Sasuke?!

Ino: You're not cool enough!

Naruto: -pouts-

Chouji: Want my nuts?

Yorick: Now how'd that get there?? -laughs hysterically-

Naruto: Hey...did anybody else hear that...?

Everyone???

Naruto: Nevermind.

Ino: I like Sasuke because he's the perfect one for me! strong, brave, hott, and...well, cool. Just like me!

Shikamaru: -coughs something inaudiable-

Ino: I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

_Dear Ino,  
If you could switch out your possesion jutsu for Sakura's intellect, would you? And you don't get the forehead with it.  
P.S. Tell Chouji I say "yo".  
-Yellowfur_

Ino: I'll admit, she did have the highest grades in our class...

Chouji: And you did cheat off her in the exams. -toYellowfur- Hey. -crunch-

Ino: And that...I guess I'd choose her intellect, so long as the 'extra baggage' isn't included. Then I could have even better jutsus because of my awesome chakra control!

Chouji: It took you months to master that jutsu.

Ino: ...who asked you?

_Dear Ino, _

_Why does everyone love Sakura? D: Every other fanfiction is about her. Personally, I think she's a Sasuke-obsessed fangirl who attempts to fake being strong, but comes off as a damsel in distress._

_PS. - Tell Shika and Chouji they kick ass.  
-Styrofoam Cicada_

Chouji: -grins through mouthfuls-

Shikamaru: -sighs-

Ino: My thoughts exactly! though, I apologize I can't answer your question. -sighs- It's just one of those things...

Naruto: I think Sakura's awesome!

Ino: Oh, really? Then let's ask you! Why do you like her so much? All I've seen is her hitting on you (and not the good kind, either.).

Naruto: Eeerm...well...-twiddles fingers- She's pretty...and she has a good heart, she's smart, and strong. I don't like her hitting me all the time, though.

Ino: What?? but I'm hotter, right?

Naruto: Nope!

Ino: Why you little...!

Chouji: Turned down again, Ino.

Shikamaru: -mumbles- Troublesome.

_Dear Ino:  
Did you know that when you sing it sounds like some random person is butchering a boar by decapitation? It sounds really weird. Makes sense, no? I mean, your name DOES mean "pig."  
-Kane P_

Ino: LET ME AT THEM!!! -flails arms-

Shikamaru: -holds her back- We'd best skip that part...troublesome...

_If you could change one thing about your teammates, what would it be and why?  
-Kane P_

Ino: -settles down, realizing Shikamaru's holding her- Eh...Shikamaru...

Shikamaru: -turns beet red-

Ino: -jumps up quickly- AHAHAHAHAHA!! I'M FINE, SUPER, FANTASTIC! time for the question, right!?

Naruto: -looks between the two- What just happened?

Chouji: You really are kinda thick, Naruto.

Naruto: Hey!

Ino: The things I'd change should be obvious. -points to Chouji- He shouldn't eat so much, you know, go on a diet or something. -points to Shikamaru- and he should get off his ass once in awhile.

Chouji and Shikamaru: -exchange glances- UNISON: And she shouldn't be so full of herself.

Ino: What do you mean? -innocent eyes-

_What was your explanation for Neji rejecting your sexiness during the chunin exams?  
wuv, kitty harasser_

Ino: It probably wasn't the right light, or something! Or maybe he was having a bad day or maybe he didn't know who he was talking to or...

Shikamaru: Or may be he just wasn't interested.

Ino: Impossible.

_If Sasuke liked you and Sakura, You for your looks and personality and Sakura for her pink hair, would you die your hair pink, Or shave off her hair?  
-Kiki_

Shikamaru: What kind of a...? -imagines Sasuke liking pink-

Ino: I'd never mess with my natural blonde! -flips out scissors-But if it's for Sasukes attention, some sacrifices must be made.

Naruto: Nooo! I love Sakura-chan's hair! -tackles Ino-

Shikamaru: It's hypathetical...-sighs- how troublesome.


	5. Fifth Edition

**Ask Ino  
Fifth Edition**

**Where the motto is:**  
_Sasuke, or bust.

* * *

_

Chouji: -wags empty bags- I'm out of food again...

Naruto: What?!

Ino: But that was a year's supply of food! I couldn't have miscalculated!!

Shikamaru: A year is a minute to Chouji. How troublesome...

Chouji: -holds up WILL-EAT-FOR-FOOD sign-

Ino: -sighs- We'll just have to let Naruto out to get supplies.

Chouji: Why Naruto!?

Naruto: YAY! I'M FREE!!

Ino: Because he'll come back...-holds up cute froggie wallet-

Naruto: NOOO! not my cute toad wallet!

Ino: You'd just better come back to claim it, then. -pushes him out the door-

Chouji: And don't forget the barbecue ribs!!

_Dear Ino,  
Unlike you, I happen to be cursed with butt-ugliness. I've tried wearing a bag over my head, but my school doesn't allow it and my Mom grounds me when I try to do it. What should I do?  
P.S. - Don't even say you can't answer. I know you can.  
P.P.S. - HOOK UP WITH SHIKAMARU BEFORE TEMARI STEALS 'IM._

Ino: Oh how sad you are, cursed one. My sympathy goes out to you.

Shikamaru: What sympathy?

Ino: And for the sake of beauty, I will give you a well thought out answer: Try a box, hahahah!

Chouji: That's not funny, Ino.

Shikamaru: Temari? -rememers the talk with his dad-...troublesome...

_WHy do you like sasuke when it's so obvious that he's gay(no offense to any fangirls, that's just what i think)? also you and Shikamaru should so go out! Oh, and um, also, if you had to date either Lee or Shikamaru, who would it be? Well, bye bye!  
-RubberDuckiesWhoLikePieAndCake  
p.s. Choji, you rock solid rock!_

Ino: Sasuke is not gay! haven't we established that yet!?

Chouji: I dunno. He doesn't like girls all that much...

Ino: -tackles-

Shikamaru: -mumbles- Troublesome...

Ino: And isn't it obvious by now!? Shikamaru!

Chouji: You answered that pretty fast.

Shikamaru: -shifts position-

Ino: I-I mean...better than Lee, that's for sure, ahahaha!

Lee: -kicks door open- Did somebody say my name?!

Ino: -.- great.

Chouji: -dives for the door-

Lee: -kicks door shut behind him-

Chouji: -falls to the ground- Whyyy...

Lee: By the spirit of youth, I will save all who are in trouble!! -shiny eyes- No one's in trouble...?

Shikamaru: Not really.

Chouji: Help...

Lee: -ignores- Oh...then on with my training! -jiggles handle- It seems to be held closed by some sort of...metal lock...

Shikamaru: -.-

_Ino, dont you think you might have hurt Chouji's feelings when you told him that boys only like skinny girls and the reverse is true? I mean you saw how hurt he looked when you walked away. Luckily his bud Shikamaru stepped in after you left and told him you were wrong.  
-Peacefulwarrior82_

Ino: Well...

Shikamaru: You were harsh then.

Ino: Erm...eheh...

Lee: Is this true!? how could you judge others by mere appearance alone??

Chouji: You obviously don't know Ino.

Ino: Well...Chouji's a big boy...and I don't only mean that in the general sense...

Chouji: Thanks. -half enthusiastic-

Ino: What do you expect? an apology!?

Lee, Chouji, Shikamaru: -raise an eyebrow-

Ino: I...-crosses arms- I refuse. I was merely stating a true fact, though harsh. But it's a harsh world, y'know...I was only trying to...nevermind.

-awkward pause-

Ino: -veeery quietly- Sorry.

Chouji: Apology accepted.

Ino: Huh? Even after...

Chouji: Like I said, it's just how you are. Nobody's perfect, Ino, not even you.

Ino: ...whatever! -hands to hips- Next question!

_Dear Ino,  
My sisters are coming home for Christmas and every year my parents make us wear these HORRIBLE matching pajamas (A different pair every year). So, my sisters and I have decided: This really has to stop. The only problem is that my parents won't let us open presents unless we wear the matching pj's. What should we do?  
-Sasukes-girl08  
P.S. Tell Shika-kun I think he's hott XP_

Ino: I figured the answer was obvious.

Lee: Really? I think matching outfits are awesome! -visualizes him and Gai-

Ino: You have to hold their present hostage! it's what I do with my dad when he tries making me do something I don't want to.

Lee: That's evil!

Ino: And necessary!

Shikamaru: Troublesome...

_Dear Ino,  
Would you be more willing to date Chouji, Rock Lee, or myself?  
From,  
Cempire  
P.S. I look a bit like Naruto, have the intelligence of Shikamaru, and the attitude of Sasuke._

Lee and Ino: ME AND HER/HIM?! never!!

Ino: And I don't know you...but if you look like Naruto, even Sasuke's attitude can't make up for that...so Chouji.

Chouji: Really?

Ino:...don't look into it.

_Dear Ino,  
My old, old screensaver was a fanart of u and Gaara hugging.  
My old screensaver was a fanart of u and Sasuke kissing.  
My current screensaver is a pic of u and Shika-as kids- hugging.  
I'm about to change it to a fanart of an older you and Shika holding two cute kids that look like the two of you.  
Do you think I'm a stalker? What kind of pic should I choose next?_

Lee: I must escape from this dreaded prison of questions! my spirit of youth must be at full bloom!! GAI-SENSEIIII!! -kicks door-

Yorick: I had no clue Lee was closterphoebic...

Lee: Who said that?! I'm hearing things now...

Chouji: What are you talking about? -stomach growls- And where's Naruto with the food!?

Ino: -sighs- You're no stalker...it's perfectly normal human nature to idolize one such as I...but you should probably stick with Sasuke and ditch the rest.

_Me again!  
Anyway, out of the three sand ninjas (Gaara, Temari and Kankurou) who do you think is the strongest? This is a REALLY EASY question, because it's obviously Gaara because Gaara IS AWESOME. Anyway, see ya.  
ps: Why do you have Naruto in there too?  
pps: Tell Shikamaru I think he's cool._

Ino: It's true Temari's an impressive fighter...but I could probably take her in a fair fight and I don't know about Kankuro that well...I will have to say Gaara. He's dangerous...-remembers the desert coffin-

Lee: Indeed, he was a very strong opponent! In fact-

Naruto: -slams door open- See?! she kept us locked in here!!

Ino: -thinks- Uh-oh, busted!

Yorick: SCRAMBLE!! -flees-

* * *

Note: No Lee's were harmed in the making of this edition. 

Send your questions to Ask Ino! And please, no more "would you go out with BLAH or BLAH?"s, it's flabbergasting both Ino and Shikamaru...and possibly Chouji! -gasps-


	6. Sixth Edition

**Ask Ino  
Sixth Edition**

**Where the motto is:  
**_There **is** no escape.

* * *

_

Kakashi: -sighs- Did you have to shut the door, Gai...

Gai: Let's look on the bright side, Kakashi. -shiny smile- This could be our next challenge! The score's 52-52. Whoever wins this one is true champion!

Lee: You go, Gai-sensei!!

Kakashi: -rubs head- Alright... -turns to Ino- Give me the key.

Gai: No! give **me **the key!

Ino: Erm...to tell you the truth...I can't.

Naruto: Why?

Ino: Eheh...well...I sort of...lost it.

Everyone: WHAT?!

Yorick: -whistles innocently-

Lee and Naruto: -exchange glances-

Naruto: But you **just **had it, crazy Ino-pig!!

Ino: Don't call me that! -konks on the head-

_Dear Ino,  
Do you think that guns would make ninjas obselete? And have you ever used your mind-switching jutsu to peek in on boys?  
Sincerely,  
Andrew J. Talon  
P.S: Shouldn't you get over Sasuke now? He is a dirty, heartless traitor who only cares about killing his brother. Naruto, kudos on standing up for Sakura, but you could give Hinata a chance. Shikamaru, just kiss Ino already. That'll shut her up._

Naruto: Huh? Hinata? What do they mean? -clueless-

Ino: No, guns wouldn't make ninja obsolete! jutsu could easily counter or destroy a simple gun...and no, I don't use my jutsu for that! do you think I'm some kind of pervert?? I could easily peek at them using old fashioned seduction!

Shikamaru: -.-'

Gai: -determined look- What are you doing?? This is not time for questions! I must escape before Kakashi does!!

Kakashi: -tired stare- So this is some kind of advice column?

_This is for naruto. Do you know Hinata like's you?  
really ask her out already. almost every one cept for you and kiba(becouse it's kiba)know's  
ps.ino you and shika rock and Sakura doesnt_  
_-mimiru-motomia_

Kakashi: Strange

Naruto: -blushes- Well...erm...Hinata...-twiddles fingers- uh...I never thought...

_Dear Ino,  
Personally, I'm not much of a fan of your's. In fact, out of all the kunoichi, I think you're probably one of the low ones, however in personality you're above Sakura.  
Anyway, here is a question that has been bothering me for a while. You know how every time a person is hit their brain cells die, well how many hits does it take to get Shikamaru's I.Q. down to zero?  
P.S. Chouji you is not big he's pleasantly plump! D:  
P.S.S. Tenten so can kick your butt. xD  
P.S.S.S. Someone waz Lee's eyebrows!  
-Kyoni_

Ino:Grr...!

Shikamaru:...

Ino: -sighs- At least you're right about one thing...-crosses arms- I'm not sure...let me try it out, and get back to you. -cracks knuckles-

Shikamaru: 0.o -backs away slowly-

Lee: Someone waz my eyebrows...-pokes eyebrows-

Naruto: -twitch-

Lee: Gai-sensei...what do they mean??

Gai: -places hand on Lee's head- Truthfully, Lee, I do not know...but your eyebrows are fabulous! -thumbs up- And it's true. My pupil TenTen could defeat you easily, Yamanaka!

Ino: What?! I'd like to see that happen!

_Dear Ino,  
Do YOU want to be Hokage? I mean, you can't work in the flower shop all your life. Use your mad skillz. If not, what DO you want to do with your life?  
P.S. Tell Lee I say hi. And there's no escape for him.  
-Yellowfur_

Ino:Hm...maybe.

Naruto: No, no, no, no! I'm gonna be Hokage!!

Ino: That's true. Though the flower shop's been passed on through the Yamanaka generation...I wouldn't be caught still working in there 10 years from now!

Chouji: Then what? -munch-

Ino: I'm sure I'd be a perfect Hokage, come to think of it...

Kakashi: Erm...

Shikamaru: Great. Now you've got her going...

Naruto: HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!!!

Ino: In fact...I should be Hokage!

Everyone: -visualizes-

**20 Years Later...**

**Ino: Work, work my slaves! ahahahah!! -whips- Those flowers won't arrange themselves!! MORE MALLS! Shopping sprees for all!WHERE ARE MY MAGAZINES?! wahahahaha! -whips-**

**The Present...**

Everyone: 0.0...

Ino: Nah. I'll probably just work my way to jounin and see where I go from there. -laughs-

Everyone: -sighs in relief-

_Have you ever realized you could pass off as Naruto's sister? Blonde hair, blue eyes...yet you are so mean to him. If you had babies it be the same thing...  
love: The woman who will take Shikamaru away from you...and Kiba so you don't even have a back-up. Kitty Harasser._

Ino and Naruto: Don't compare me to him/Her!!

Ino: And I don't even want to THINK about babies... -shudders- with him...

Naruto: -makes gagging noises-

Ino: And don't worry...I won't need a backup, anyways...

_Dear Ino,  
Like I said before, my sisters are coming home for Christmas. ONe of my sisters is awesome, but the other one can get ...very... mean at times. It's like she lives to torture me, and I'm usually forced to share a room with her. So, how should I deal with this?  
-Sasukes-girl08  
P.S. Thanks for answering my other questions  
P.P.S. I wuv u Shika-kun X3_

Ino: This is why I'm thankful for being an only child...

Lee: Do the questions ever end?

Shikamaru: No...-goes back to sleep-

Ino: I'd stick with the good sister, y'know, share a room with her instead. Then if she's ever mean to you, you have her to back you up! two's better than one, I always say...and there's always the option of revenge, I mean, you do know where she sleeps...-evil cackle-

Lee: That's playing dirty!

Ino: Once again...necessary. -innocent smile-

Kakashi: -.-' Why am I here...? -whips out Icha Icha Paradise-


	7. Seventh Edition

**Ask Ino  
Seventh Edition  
**  
The long-awaited update is HERE! -crickets- crap, they left!

**Where the motto is:  
**_Blah blah blah__

* * *

_

Ino: Welcome back! We've got a lot more questions needing answers!!

Gai: Even my super kicks can't break down this door!

Kakashi: Come to think of it, neither can jutsu...

Yorick: -whistles innocently-

Naruto and Lee: -exchange looks-

Ino: Weird...it's only deadbolts. I mean, this _is _an interrogation room!

Shikamaru: Troublesome...

_Dear Ino,  
Will you beat up Sasuke for running away to a gay snake guy?  
Pupluvgurl  
P.S. Tell Kakashi I think he's the best character and he's hot!_

Naruto: I'll sure kick his ass!

Kakashi: Hm...maybe there is something in staying...-eyes the P.S.-

Ino: -sighs- If only it were that simple...I miss him...

_Ino,  
Just due to curiosity, but out of the three, who do you think is prettier? Hinata, Tenten or Temari. (Ha! You thought I was gonna say Sakura, right?)  
ps: Hi, Shikamaru. You're cool! Unlucky_

Shikamaru: Hey...

Ino: Well Hinata has the better body...but TenTen has prettier hair and facial features, not to mention a good sense of fashion...but when it comes to Temari, she'd top it all because of her age and 'matured' body...I'd have to go with her.

Everyone: o.o

Ino: A girl needs to know her competition...not that I find either of them a threat, or anything...

_Dear: Ino  
Which guy do you think would be the easiest for you to seduce (seeing that Neji was unaffected, and Sasuke would be probably be too)? Also, if you were to get revenge on Neji for not being charmed by your beauty, what would you do? By the way, I also think Sasuke is gay... or maybe bisexual. He kissed Naruto and he doesn't like girls. I agree with the person who said you should take Shikamaru before Temari does. Even if that does mean stopping Shika's and my wedding, which was supposed to happen in a couple of weeks. I'll just have to go marry Neji or Itachi... or both.  
-Headless Duck_

Ino: Hm. Probably Naruto or Kiba. They wouldn't know any better. -wink-

Naruto: -.- I'm right here.

Ino: And my revenge would be simple...fix TenTen up with Lee. -shrugs-

Lee: o.o I'm right here.

Ino: And NO he's not bi!! definiately not with Naruto! if anything, it'd be with someone hotter, like Kiba or something! WHICH STILL ISN'T TRUE, BECAUSE SASUKE'S NOT GAY!! -hyperventilates-

**Meanwhile, in the Inuzuka residence...**

**Kiba: AAACHOO! -blinks-**

Naruto:Yeah!...wait, Sasuke's GAY?!

Everyone: -.-

_Dear Ino,  
Why are you doing this instead of training? What kind of mission(s) were you doing while team 7 was in the land of waves?  
-Kirri Kitty_

Ino: Simply because I like to have other hobbies apart from training and work! as for the mission, being my first...

Ino-Shika-Chou: -exchange glances-

Ino: Long story.

_Dear Ino,  
If Sasuke never existed,or you and Sakura never liked him,do you think you girls would still be bestest friends...or would Sakura make you girls rivals over some other guy?how did you feel after she claimed you guys were rivals now?  
-MrSMuRdEr!_

Ino: -sighs- A world without Sasuke-kun...we'd probably end up fighting over someone else, though I couldn't imagine who'd add up to Sasuke's standards...and I was...surprised when she announced we were rivals...

Shikamaru: -raises an eyebrow-

Ino: Surprised she beat me to it:P

_I am a big fan and I think you are one of the prettiest girls in Konoha. So just wondering how do you manage to always looks so fabulous all the time? True, you are gifted with such immense beauty, but what are you're beauty secrets?  
Take care and beat Sakura, Elsie.  
P.S. Give Shikamaru-kun a hug for me, would ya?_

Kakashi and Shikamaru: Oh brother...

Naruto: Youprobably wrote this one yourself, huh, Ino-pig!

Ino: -leans on his head- Ah, my wonderous fan...unfortunately for you, my beauty is what I'd like to call the Yamanaka Gene. Gorgeous looks like mine you can't just buy in any old store...you see ever since the beginning of time, the Yamanaka generation-

Naruto's POV

Ino: Blah blah, blah blah blah! blah ahahahah! blah bladiddy blah blah! and twinkies blah blah...blah...blah? BLAH!?

Lee: -.-

Chouji: -.- Erm...blah?

Normal POV

Ino: Are you listenting to me? Naruto? NARUTO!? -pokes his head-

Chouji: Erm...Naruto?

Lee: -waves hand in front of his face-

Shikamaru: It's finally happened...Ino's become so impossibly boring, she's destroyed what was left of Naruto's brain. He's nothing but a drone now.

Ino: HEY!!

Lee: Say it isn't so! Take the youth-dispelling spell off of him, evil ugly witch! -strikes a dramatic pose-

Ino: WHY YOU!!!

_Dear Ino,  
...If the only thing blocking you from the outside is the door, why haven't any of you just tried busting the door down? I mean, Chouji could pulverize the thing, couldn't he? And Gai and Kakashi are Jounin! Surely they'd be able to kick down a door.  
-Nobody10_

Ino and Lee: -fighting in the background-

Kakashi: -sighs tiredly- I wish I knew...there must be more to this room than meets the eye.

Gai: Yes, Yes, most likely. -nods- AND I'LL FIND OUT FIRST BEFORE YOU, KAKASHI!! -flashes the most sparkly grin ever-

Kakashi: -sighs-

* * *

Hold your questions for now, please. 0-0' I need to catch up! 


	8. Eighth Edition

**Ask Ino  
Eighth Edition  
****  
**Two updates in one day(or should I say night), whoo!

**Where the motto is:  
**_WHYYYY?!_

**

* * *

**

_We last left off...(eh, about a good...half hour ago?)_

_Ino and Lee have engaged in mortal combat.  
Naruto has turned into a mindless, drooling, drone.  
Gai and Kakashi have begun to figure out the SECRET OF THE INTERROGATION ROOM!!  
Shikamaru & Chouji...are being themselves (at least one thing's normal 'round here)._

NOW LET'S CONTINUE THE BLOODSHE- I mean_...questions..._

_Dear Ino,  
If you had the chance to pair up with one of the Atsuki members,who would it be?  
Kyoni  
P.S. Are you and Deidara related? Oo You look a lot alike. . .or did you just copy him?_

Ino: -pushes off Lee- Ooh, mail time! ...hmm...ITACHI-kun!

Chouji: I thought you said "Any enemy of Sasuke is an enemy of mine".

Ino: I can't help it! he's like an older, eviler, Sasuke-kun! And we're not related...or at least what I know of.

_Hey wazzup Ino!  
I've got a question for you . . .  
I mean questions for you  
1. Have you ever asked your parents why they named you Ino? seeing that your name means "pig"?  
2.By any chance, do you like Shikamaru? If you don't want to answer that, what are some things you like about Shikamaru?  
3. Why do you wear sexy clothes? Is it to impress a guy? Name guys that you want to impress and why? not counting Sasuke.  
4. This question is for Shikamaru, if you're given a chance to compliment Ino, what would you tell her?  
Love,  
a girl who knew what you did last summer  
hehehehe_

Ino: 1. I have...my father said mother has always liked pigs...they're not cute.

Naruto: -drools, leaning on Ino-

Ino: -pushes mindless Naruto off- 2. No...and he's smarter than Sakura.

Shikamaru: -yawns-

Ino: 3. Not only is it hot, but once again, baggy clothing will only get in the way...and I'm sure I could impress guys, no matter what I'm wearing.

Shikamaru: 4. -boredly- Nice ass.

Ino: -turns five shades of red- Next. Question. Now.

_Dear Ino,  
Why does school seem to take longer around Christmas time?  
Love,  
the person who will steal Sasuke AND Shikamaru from you! (AkA, Sasukes-girl08)_

Ino: Because of the anticipation, probably.

Naruto: -falls into her lap-

Ino: -darts across the room- STOP IT YOU MINDLESS TWIT!

Yorick: Come to think of it...probably not a good idea to have her, the only girl, locked in a room full of guys...hmm...

Lee: Who said that?? Gai-sensei, I'm hearing voices!

Gai: Hm? What Lee? I'm busy finding a way out...

Lee: -looks around sketchily-

_ok this is for kakashi do you know out of all you guy's your the top favorite it's true you got number one naruto got seconde and sasUKE got third what do you think of this  
ps.guy you have no chance against kakashi sorry TT  
PPS.INO YOUR STILL COOL and much better then sakura  
ps.YAY YOUTH GO LEE  
kay thank's bye  
-mimiru-motomia_

Lee and Gai: YOUTH!

Gai: Wait, what do you mean??

Kakashi: -reads book- She speaks truth.

Ino: Yeah!

_Dear Ino:  
Why are you so obsessed with... everything girly? It's kinda weird. No, not kinda, really really REALLY weird. Girls aren't supposed to be girly. It's, like, some kind of unspoken law. I know, completely pointless question, but oh well.  
-Kane  
P.S. This is for Naruto. Dude, just give Sakura a bit of time. She'll come around. She's a smart girl. But she's kinda stupid for letting you slip away for this long, no offense. She'll realize you're everything she wanted in Sasuke one of these days._

Ino: I am NOT obsessed! -pushes Naruto off-

Naruto: -flops on the floor like a dying fish-

Chouji: 0.o Naruto...you okay?

Hinata: -enters and shuts door silently- N-Naruto-kun?? -runs to Naruto's side-

Everyone: -looks at the door pathetically-

Chouji: -falls on the ground besides Naruto- WHYYY!?

Lee: -does the same- WHHYYYY!!??

-both flop around like dying fish-

Hinata: Erm...-ignores- Naruto-kun...w-what's wrong with you?

Kakashi: Hinata, how did you find this place?

Hinata: A-A woman said Naruto-kun was in trouble...a-and showed me this room...

Kakashi and Gai: -exchange glances-

Ino: -ignores everything- Alright! two more questions!

_Hi again, Ino!  
My question is this: Do you like (as friends) Asuma, Shikamaru and Chouji as a Team or do you hate them and wish you were on a different team? (I don't blame you if you wanted Kakashi as a Sensei, though.) But I'd much rather have Shikamaru and Chouji as Team-mates then that jerkwad Sasuke and Naruto. (Sorry, Naruto!) Though I wouldn't want to be on the same Team as Sakura. At least YOU can defend yourself, Ino.  
Unlucky  
ps: Um...Hi, Kakashi!_

Ino: Now that I've gotten to know them...they aren't half bad. I wouldn't trade them for another team, at least...unless it has Sasuke-kun in it!

Shikamaru and Chouji: -.- Thanks...

Ino: -laughs- Ino-Shika-Chou all the way!

Chouji: That's more like it. -munch-

Hinata: Naruto-kun...-places his head in her lap-

Yorick: NARUHINA!

Lee: That's it! Who's there?! -looks behind everything-

Gai: I forgot you don't do well in confined spaces, Lee.

Lee: But I could have sworn...

_dear ino my big sister renetta act like susake- kun & nartuo renetta bithday is july 21 i think she is sasuke twin sister . renetta: no im not sasuke - twin pulse i hate him he m.r hot guy why stupid fan like him ? if i was in the show i will get annoyed with sasuke fan girl s i really like nartuo he so cool & cute yeah do have same as him ...  
raven : so you like sasuke renetta ?  
renetta: hell no if he was last guy on earth and when nartuo give up ramen i 'll date him raven so no i old ern then sasuke - baka  
raven no he oldren then you renetta  
renetta : no  
raven : yes  
renetta : no  
raven : yes  
renetta: no  
raven ; yes ino you choose who right if im right renetta has to date sasuke  
renetta : hell no , i won't i hate him more like nartuo !  
raven : you see ino what should i do with her sasuke - hater and nartuo act !_

Ino: Yes...-shifty eyes- She should go out with Naruto...not Sasuke...yes...he's older...much older... -hides Sasuke plushie-

Shikamaru: That's _real _tricky...troublesome...

_

* * *

_

I'm limiting the questions to 2! you may continue asking them, btw!  
And Renetta, I didn't answer your first question since this second one is similar to it, kay? 

Keep the questions coming!


	9. Ninth Edition

**Ask Ino  
Ninth Edition****  
**_YOUTH!_

**

* * *

**

_Since so many people are there, a question for Gai: Why do waves appear and seagulls screech whenever you get emotional? And why don't you and Lee try kicking the door down together in a Maximum Youth Inverted Dynamic Entry? (I just made that up!)  
-avatarjk137  
PS. Shikamaru, I know how you feel (I too am often the smartest guy in the room, but can't motivate myself to make any real difference. And thanks for answering my sister Yellowfur's questions!)_

Gai: That, my friend, is the spirit of YOUTH! -seagulls appear in the background- And yes...Lee, we should try a super youthful combo on the door!

Ino: o.O Where'd they come from...? -eyes the seagulls-

Lee: That's a wonderful idea, Gai-sensei!!

Gai: Lee!

Lee: Gai-Sensei!

Gai: Lee!

Lee: Gai-sensei!

-waves crash in the background-

Everyone: o.0 -back away slowly-

Naruto:-wakes up- O.o What'd I miss??

Hinata: Naruto-kun!

Naruto: -still in her lap-

Hinata: -turns beet red, accidentally throwing him across the room in surprise-

_Dear Ino,  
You're an annoying loud mouth pig that has no reason to be doing such a thing. No wonder Sakura is beating you! After all she trains and is much much prettier. As for her forehead it absoutly beautiful! How could you hate such a thing?!  
I think you need to come off yourself Pig! I mean, Ino. . .  
Sincerely,  
Sak-I mean-  
Sasuke Uchiha._

Ino:...

Chouij: Hey...Ino?

Shikamaru?

Ino: I...I'll be...right back... -disappears into a random closet-

Shikamaru:?

Closet: -BEEP- LITTLE PIECE OF -BEEP BEEP- AND BIG PINK WIDESCREEN FOREHEAD -BEEP- UGLY LITTLE -BEEP BEEP- TWINKIES -BEEP- SASUKE-KUN!!

Ino: -leaves the closet- I feel better now! -smiles-

Everyone: O.O'

_How old are the ninja's? I was guessing twelve but ya don't look twelve. I dunno. How old are you people!? PS. Sasuke would get his but wooped by Naruto. Oh yeah...Sasuke seems a little queer...face it, it is the truth...Ok, he seems mega hecka gay to the highest degree of queerness. Ok!  
-random person_

Ino: All the genin are 13 right now. Or at least the Ino-Shika-Chou is.

Shikamaru:...

Gai: Ready, Lee?

Lee: Yeah!!

Both: -power up, and kick at the door-

The door shudders, and a dent is made...the dent then flattens out by some unseen force!

Lee: What?!

Gai: Hm...seems you were right this time, Kakashi.

Kakashi: -nods- This is more serious than it appears...

_Dear Ino,  
Ew Ino what were you and Lee doing you horny girl! Do you even care that there are others watching?? Just kidding. Um... Out of all the genins who do you think has the most tragic life?  
-JarJar_

Ino: Sasuke-kun

Naruto: Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun! why the hell...!

Hinata: -twiddles fingers-

Hinata's POV

Naruto: Hey Hinata, wanna go out with me some time? -sparklie grin-

Normal POV

Hinata: -turns red- N-Naruto-kun!

Naruto: Eh?

_dear ino,  
Honestly, what would you do if Shikamaru asked Temari out (and we're all pretty sure that you like Shikamaru anyways so don't say 'there's always Sasuke-kun!')  
-starseer  
P.S. YORICK ROCKS!_

Ino:W-why would it matter to me??

Kakashi: Hinata, this woman that brought you here...what did she look like?

Hinata: I-I'm sorry...I couldn't see her face...

Kakashi: -sighs-

Hinata: B-but she was wearing a blue cloak...

Ino: -thinks-_...familiar..._

Shikamaru: -thinks- _Who's Yorick?_

Chouji: -thinks-_...we're out of food..._

_Dear Ino,  
1.If you saw Sasuke making out with Hinata and they dated, 10 years later they got married. What would you do? What would you do if it was Sakura instead of Hinata?  
2.Here's one for Kakashi: Why are you always late? Do you have some kind of secret Icha Icha Paradise Club meeting every morning? And why is your rival a scicopath that belongs in a mental fascilaty? And better yet, why did you LOSE to him?  
Love Ino's #1 fan Misy  
PS.I HATE Sakura  
PSS.I also hate Sasuke  
PS. Here is a list of my fav.  
characters:  
1.Naruto 2.Ino 3.Gaara 4.Tayuya 5.Neji 6.Hanabi 7.Kiba 8.Ten-Ten 9.Haku 10.Rin  
_

Ino:...

Shikamaru: Ino?

Ino: 1.-shoves a kunai into an orange-

Kakashi: o.o

Hinata: -gulps- E-erm...T.T -inches closer to Naruto-

Naruto:Yeah! I'm number 1!! and finally someone who hates Sasuke!

Ino: How?!

Lee:T.T I'm not even on the list...

Kakashi: 2. -shifty eyes-Who told you that? It's a lie. Don't believe it. -hides Icha Icha-

Gai: Sociopath?? -brightens up- And of course he lost to me! hahahah!

Kakashi: -.-'

_Dear Ino-chan,  
I've got a couple of questions for you.  
1. Have you ever talked with your Inner Self for a while?  
2. Does it annoy you that Sasuke just left?  
Love,  
NaraNeko  
P.S: Heya, Shika. You're awesome. Go smart-and-lazy people.  
P.P.S: Lee, there is no voice. NO VOICE AT ALL._

Ino: 1.Sometimes.

Chouji: You talk to yourself, Ino?

Shikamaru: Troublesome...

Ino: 2.Yes.

Yorick: Yes...no voice. So stop listening!

Lee and Naruto: What was that?! You heard it too?! I'M NOT CRAZY?!

Yorick: Oops... eeerm, no! this is your concience!! OBEY THE CONCIENCE!

_Dear Ino,  
Sorry Ino, but these questions are for others. Take a break. Get some tea.  
1.Kakashi, how do you get your hair like that?  
2.Hinata, what is your sister like?  
Thank you.  
And, P.S. Gai, I suggest that you and Lee use a combo attack of concentrated power of youth to open the door!  
-Yellowfur_

Kakashi: Oh, this? -pets hair- It grows in this way...-continues reading-

Naruto: Yeah Kakashi-sensei, your hair is _weird_!

Gai: It _does_ defy the laws of gravity...

Hinata: 2.Erm...Hanabi?

Naruto: Yeah, we don't know much about your sister, Hinata!

Hinata: Sh-she's nice...I'm not sure...-twiddles fingers-

Naruto?

Gai: PS. -sighs- We've already tried that...

_Hello again, Ino!  
Here's my questions:  
1. I have this Naruto character I made up...but I can't decide whether to make her fight with either spell-cards (magical cards infused with magic, in case you didn't know) or a purple-bladed sword. Or maybe you should call Tenten for this question? Or just ask those around you, okay? -  
2. Ino, what does your mother look like? Us viewers have only ever seen your dad when he was in a bar or something with Shikamaru and Chouji's dad.  
ps: Who knew Shikamaru was that funny? Seriously, the "nice ass" remark almost mde me fall off my chair with laughter. Keep it up, Shikamaru! giggles  
-Unlucky-Amulet_

Ino: I've never heard of a ninja fighting with magic cards...the sword sounds more realistic and is probably more convenient to use...

Shikamaru: Once again, you give actual advice...

Ino:P

_Dear Ino,  
How long will it take you to realize that you and Shikamaru are made for each other?  
Sasukes-girl08_

Ino and Shikamaru: -exchange glances- Hn. -look away-

Chouji: You're more alike than you know. -laughs-

Ino: -grumbles- Shut it Chouji...

_

* * *

_

**If you choose to ask more than two questions, I'll randomly select which I'll answer. Which explains why I didn't answer all 20 of Missy's questions, which I apologize to...but then people would start making 50 question lists and it would get very frustrating. -.-  
(Count how many times I've said WHICH, lol)  
**


	10. Tenth Edition

**Ask Ino  
Tenth Edition  
**_BYOB..._

_Prisone- I mean "trapped characters":_

Ino  
Shikamaru  
Chouji  
Naruto  
Kakashi  
Gai  
Lee  
Hinata

**

* * *

**

_dear ino my friend lar- ray act like sasuke and i would act like nartuo it very trouble some she would diss me about nartuo she & i would get in the fight she would glare & called me dobe and would glare at her what should i do with her? ( lar- ray : hn renetta : sweat drop why me ! im stuck with felmale sasuke)  
p.s ino you rock ! here nartuo ramen for you  
your friend renetta chan_

Naruto: Simple! think WWND(what would Naruto do)? Yosh! Ramen! -clings-

Ino: -scolds- I'm the one answering the questions here!!

Chouji: Why does he get ramen!?

NaruChou: -fight over the only food in the room-

_Well Ino, my question is (it's a two-parter, so I guess it's really two questions) if you didn't fight Sakura in the Chunin preliminary exams, do you think you would've advanced to the third round? If so, who do you think you would've won against? (You don't have to name ALL of them, just a couple)  
-Yellowfur  
P.S. Chouji, if all else fails you can always eat Kakashi (meh heh)_

Ino: Depends who I was fighting...if it were someone like Temari, for example, then yeah! but her brother...

Yorick: -coughsinogaacoughs-

Lee: -darts around the room- I heard you that time!!

Naruto: -also looks around sketchily-

Shikamaru: -to Ino- I don't think anyone wanted him.

Naruto: -eating ramen, while watching the walls suspiciously- You really think you could beat her, Ino? -mouthful of food- Hreah wight!

Ino: -wrestles him to the ground- What was that, dobe!?

Naruto: Don't call me that, Ino-pig!

Ino: Then don't call me that, dobe!!

NaruIno: -engage in mortal combat-

Chouji: Hmm...-eyes Kakashi-

Kakashi: -scoots away-

_HEY INO I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS I NEED AWNSERS TO CAN YOU HELP ME .1. MY FRIENDS SAY I AM LIKE SAKURA,TENTEN,YOU,AND HINATA SOMETIMES SO THEN WHO WOULD I REALLY BE ? BECAUSE I HAVE THE INTELECT,I AM SHY SOMETIMES,I HAVE PERFECT ACCURACY , AND TO TOP IT I AM A HOT BLONDE GIRL THAT MY BESTFRIEND/EX BOYFRIEND CALLS ANNOYING .AND QUESTION 2 WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CUTE OUTFIT ?I REALLY WANT THAT OUTFIT .HA THEN MAYBE MY EX WOULD GET JEALOUS. P.S. TELL KAKASHI,NARUTO,SHIKAMARU,GAARA,SASUKE THAT THEY R HOT AND GIVE THEM HUGS FROM ME . P.S TELL THEM I AM ALSO SINGLE . FROM SAKURAGIRL721_

Ino: 1.Hmm...well if you're a hot blonde, it doesn't matter how you act! you're just like me :P

Shikamaru:...troublesome...

Chouji: -.-

Ino: 2.Oh yeah, and I made this outfit myself!...ah! maybe I could be a-

Shikamaru: Fashion designer? doubtful-

Ino: Eh...why not?! I think it's a great idea, I mean... -goes on and on-

Shikamaru:...troublesome...

Gai: P.S: Single, huh? -wets eyebrow- How 'bout tomorrow night? -doesn't notice she didn't list his name-

Lee: Go Gai-sensei!

Kakashi: P.S: Ah...I'm good...

Naruto: P.S: -grins- Why would she tell us that...? -totally oblivious-

Shikamaru: -sighs- Troublesome.

_Dear Ino; Why are you uncapable of seeing Sasuke is not interested?  
-Shika'sbiggestfan  
P.S. HI SHIKA! -waves like an idiot-_

Ino: GRR!!

Shikamaru: Hey.

Naruto: -sporting a black eye- Hey, Kakashi-sensei! you should let me read that book you always carry around!

Kakashi:...no.

Naruto: Ero-sennin's the author, right? I helped write that!

Kakashi: ...no.

Naruto: Why not?!

Kakashi: BYOB.

Naruto: Huh?

Kakashi: Buy.Your.Own.Book.

Naruto:...

_Dear Ino,  
1.What is your take on the Shino and Ino pairing? I mean Sasuke and Ino I can take and Shikamaru and Ino too I think is just cute, but Shino and Ino? I mean seriously! I've even seen Neji and Ino! Ick!  
2.Also,what is the history of your group A.K.A Shika-Ino-Cho? The last time I checked Shika was a girl's name which meant "Deer" Cho was girl's name that meant "Butterfly" and Ino meant "Pig or Boar". And since your father's are all part of the troupe. . .Did that meant Ino's father had to pretend to be a girl?  
Sincerely, Kyoni  
P.S. Sakura should so go out with Lee._

Ino: -reads randomly- 2.Actually my father's name is Inoichi, Chouji's father's name is Choza, and Shikamaru's dad is named Shikaku, thus the first generation of the Ino-Shika-Chou...I'm not sure how they knew we'd be on the same team, though...or how we were all born the same year!

Kakashi: Almost unnerving once you think about it.

Chouji: Wow, that is weird. -stomach growls-

Ino: -reads P.S- Ahahaha, I totally agree!

Lee: -hearts in his eyes- Sakura-chan! I WILL ESCAPE HERE AND CLAIM YOU AS MY WIFE!

Naruto: Nuh-uh! Sakura's mine!

NaruLee: -engage in a banana duel-

Chouji: -steals their bananas-

Ino: Shino? ick is right! those bugs are just too gross.

Naruto: Yeah...-shivers- and creepy!

Shino: _Wh**a**t_ _a**b**ou**t** bu**g**s..._? -right behind them-

NaruIno: EEEEEEK!

Naruto: -jumps into Hinata's arms-

Hinata: N-Naruto-kun -turns crimson-

Shino: -sunglasses flash- What are you doing here, Hinata?

Hinata: Shino-kun, erm...

Naruto: -jumps off Hinata-

Kakashi: We could ask you the same thing. I didn't see you come in through the door.

Shino: I didn't.

Everyone:...

Shino:...

Everyone:...

Shino:...

Everyone: ...-shift uncomfortably-

Shino: I don't know.

Everyone?????

_Dear Ino,  
Personally, who do you think Tenten should go out with, Lee or Neji, and why?  
-W.A.192_

Ino: She seems to like Lee...strangely...but I think Neji would be better for her...image.

Lee: I'm right here. -annoyed-

Ino: I know.

_Dear Ino,  
What does it feel like to look exactly like the princess from episode 192(wrong episode -shrugs-)?  
-Shinto Miko_

Naruto: -laughs like crazy-

Ino: -turns red- WE LOOK NOTHING ALIKE! and don't remind me! it never happened!

Naruto: Ahahahha then how ahahha do I remember it ahahah!

Ino: -smacks across the head- Never happened.

Shikamaru: How can you be reminded of something that never happened?

Naruto: -rubs head- At least you were nice in _that_ episode.

Ino: -fumes- Guys still like slim girls more...

_Dear Ino,  
If you want to be a good kisser... for Sasuke why don't you practice with Shikamaru? JUMP HIM!  
-JarJar_

Ino: What do you take me for, a sucker??

Shikamaru: -can think of a hundred sick minded comebacks, but is either too lazy or too much of a gentlemen to say anything-

_Dear Ino,  
I took a 'Naruto Personality Test' the other day and I got Shikamaru! Honestly, I'm a GIRL and Shikamaru may be a genius but he's freakin lazy! What should I do?  
-starseer  
p.s. no offense Shikamaru  
p.p.s. YORICK STILL ROCKS!_

Shikamaru: None taken.

Ino: Just retake it!

Lee: Just because you're willing to cheat on a test doesn't mean the readers are! don't listen to her, starseer! the spirit of youth burns in you like-

Shino: -interrupts- Who's this Yorick they mentioned?

Kakashi: They may have something to do with this.

Yorick: -shifty eyes-

_Ino, have you ever stalked sasuke before? I mean you seem like the stalkerish person. Your obsessed with him and all, what if sasuke died or never existed who would you have stalked then?  
-Waterbending Angel-_

Ino: Well...I wouldn't exactly call it 'stalked' per say...more like...follow...

Naruto: And I thought you were creepy before, Ino-pi-aaah!

Ino: -tackles-

Gai: This is no time to fight! we must figure out just who this Yorick is. If I'm not mistaken, this could be the mysterious stranger who tricked us all into coming here...

Kakashi: Didn't I just say...?

_Dear Ino,  
This one's for Shikamaru. Here's a million bucks. -Hands Shika a million dollars-. Make out with Ino.  
Much love,  
Sasukes-girl08_

Ino: Alright, just what's up with you readers?! why have my own fans conspired against me, trying to pair me and Shikamaru up in some weird pairing!? I mean c'mon, we're teammates!I know neither of us has any feeling whatsoever even close to resembling anything like _that, _okay!? I mean seriously, there's no way in he-

Unbelievably, to the reader's delight and the whole room's total shock and in some desperate attempt to take the attention off of herself from the suspecting captives, meaning Yorick, and before Ino could have any time to react let alone process just what the fudge was happening she found Shikamaru's lips against her own, as he held her tightly.

How the hell'd someone so lazy move so fast?!

After the breathtakingly damn sweet arsed kiss (not to mention Ino's _first_), Shikamaru was forced to pull away...

Ino: **_H_**oooool_**y** _s_h**i**-_

* * *

**We aplogize for the inconvenience, but due to unknown technical difficulties, your connection has been broken.  
Please be patient**_

* * *

_  
Shikamaru: -counting his million dollars cash- 

Hinata: -blushing from head to toe-

Shino: -coughs-

Naruto: O.O -still standing there with his mouth hanging open-

Chouji: -lost his appetite-

Lee: That was...unexpected...

Gai: -tears streaming down his face- The love of youth is so...inspiring! though, who knew a young woman like her had such a...colorful vocabluary?

Chouji: Come on, Ino. You have to get out of there some time...

Ino: -locked herself in the closet-

Kakashi: You're right...once she runs out of oxygen. -leaning besides the closet, reading (of course!)-

Yorick: Dun Dun Duuunnnn!

Naruto: Who said that?!


	11. Eleventh Edition

**Ask Ino  
Eleventh Edition!  
**_Surprise!!_

**

* * *

**A/N: I wrote this in advance...and I didn't want to rewrite this or the tenth chapter!! 'sides -huggles plushie- Gaara's the smex.  
_**

* * *

**_

_first off, although you annoy me, sometimes, we're very alike! We both think emo boys are hot! (altho, to warn you, the last emo boy I hooked up with turned out to be SUCH an ass.)  
Questions!!:  
To Kakashi: Is there any truth in the youxIruka pairing. Please tell me this isn't so, I think it's BS  
Ino: I know you said no more, but if you had to go out with /make out with a girl who would it be.  
Also, I hope you realize Shikamaru and Sasuke have been getting together behind your back (don't deny it Shikamaru!) And Neji wasn't affected becuase he's also gay...and sadnwhicihing Lee with Gaara eveynight...  
-AngelLucifel_

Shikamaru: o.O I what?

Gaara: How'd they find out? -appears behind Lee-

Lee: EEEK! -jumps into Naruto's arms-

Gaara: -nonexistent eyebrow twitch-

Ino: -is too busy being emo in a closet to answer-

Naruto: Come out of the closet already, Ino! (no pun intended...)

Naruto: Eh? -totally oblivious- Hey, it's you! -drops Lee-

Kakashi: I..ruka...?

Dolphin jumps in the background.

Yorick: Does that answer your question?

Naruto: That's it! Lee, you heard it too, right?

Lee: -nods-

Naruto: -yells at the room- Show yourself, you coward! We know you're there!

Gaara:?

Kakashi: What are you talking about, Naruto?

Naruto: Me and Lee's been hearing someone talking! but no one else can! WHY?!

Lee: It's true, Gai-sensei!

Gai: Really? have you asked who they were?

LeeNaru: ...-a tumbleweed passes in the background-

Naruto: Actually...haven't thought of that...

Lee: Alright! who are you!?

No answer.

LeeNaru: -exchange glances-

Gai: -coughs- Are you feeling alright, Lee?

Kakashi: Yeaah...-turns to Gaara- How did you get here?

Gaara: I was doing an appearance down the hall...I heard Lee was here...

Gai: There's a 'down the hall'??

Gaara: -ignores- That dog boy is there.

Shino: -pushes glasses up- Hn.

_Dear Ino  
I've got two questions  
1. Are you ticklish  
2. If you and Sasuke had a kid, what would you name him or her.  
-Believe It_

Naruto: Alright! I'm just gonna have to answer these myself! 1.I don't want to answer 2...I don't want to answer.

Gaara: -tickles Naruto-

Naruto: AHAHAHAAHAH!

Gaara: Question answered.

_dear ino , do know sakura called you evil and nartuo do'nt you dare say sakura is cute and i will get very mad and i come after you with mallet and beat you up okay... i'm maybe sasuke & itachi sister  
p.s . this warning to nartuo and yoick -san can you ask for ask sakura for me why hell is annoying & beat poor nartuo she get on my last neve and warning her not get me mad or two words kakyo the white fox demon will get her !  
your friend renetta - uchicha chan_

Naruto: Sakura IS cute!

Hinata: -shifts position-

Yorick: -sighs- Just one of those questions...the world may never know.

NaruLee: Not you too!

Hinata: -looks around- Where did Shino-kun go...?

Gaara:...

_Hey Ino! Sorry, but these 2 questions are for Chouji and Shikamaru.  
Shikamaru- Isn't it bothersome to tie your hair up like that? Don't you have to do that every morning or does it just stay like that anyway?  
Chouji- Would you find Ino more attractive if she was curvier?  
That's all for now. -  
PS: Hi everybody in there!_

Shikamaru: Actually, yeah...-undoeshair-

Yorick: OMG WTF, when did Vegeta get here?!

**Meanwhile...**

**Vegeta: AAACHOO!**

Lee: Veggie-who?

Naruto:Veggie-poo??

Gai: -cries- My poor pupil is going senile! damn this small locked room!

Chouji:Ialreadyfindherattractive.

Everyone:o.o

Chouji: -.-'...of all that's happened so far you think THAT'S surprising??


	12. The End

Ask Ino is no more!

It's sad but true, ppls, and I apologize! The characters not only found the secret hole in the closet that I expertly hid behind Chouji's bag of twinkies...but I've also been struck with the curse of **Writer's Block**!

And don't worry, Ino came out of the closet (finally! we knew all along!j/k) and her and Shika-kun are together as we speak, Gai lost his bet to Kakashi (again), and NO Chouji didn't die of starvation! Thank goodness.

I hope you had a good time with this!!  
Below are similar Naruto ask columns that I recommend:

Ask A Ninja by Foreign Geisha  
Ask Sakura by Angel Lucifel  
Ask Naruto by JKnights4eva  
So Says Kankuro by Silver tragedy

Once again, I'm sorry!


End file.
